The last couple of running days I’ve felt less than my best –
‘under the weather’ as they say. Despite this, and in brave attempts to shake
it, I have gotten out of bed and put those running shoes on. Today was the 2nd of those two.
I haven’t allowed myself to ‘wonder’ much lately. Instead of living a mystery, I’ve really
gotten into a habit of working something over in my mind until it makes sense
to me. As of this morning’s run, I’ve
declared one certain mystery in my life: our two year old dog has come to mean
the world to me. It was her snoring in
the next room this morning that quite literally got me out of bed. As the alarm sounded I felt groggy and
unmotivated. Dorothy’s snores reminded
me how much she likes to run in the morning, and from experience, I’m convinced
our morning routine has definite personal benefits.
Once out on the road, Dorothy and I get into a groove that
is again, unexplainable. She trots
happily along (at least that’s how I interpret her high steps and perked up
ears) and in between being consciously present to my breathing and watching my
posture, I glance down in pure joy that she is so happy. It is that simple. And that unexplainable. Dorothy brings me joy, and bringing her joy
brings me joy. It is a positive
reinforcing cycle.
My thoughts wandered to my faith. What about our loving Creator God? I’ve been listening to a precious gift my
husband will give to the Benedictine Community in Oxford in a few days. He interviews people for research as part of
his business, and in his characteristic ‘stepping out of the box’ he
interviewed Fr. Dan Homan, former prior and now deceased member of that
community, during his studies on collaboration and on creativity. (He usually targets highly successful people
in multi-national corporations for such questions.) Kerry, my husband, asked me to listen to the
tapes he’d found of the interviews with Dan’s name on them, and help sort out
which was which. In response to Kerry’s
questions on success, Fr. Dan spoke of his life mission: to let people know
they are more than what they own and that they are precious in the eyes of God
no matter what they do. It is that
simple. And that unexplainable. According to Fr. Dan, God looks at us with
joy, especially when we are happy.
Another friend this week posted a list on Facebook of ‘What
ifs.” One was, “What if we said ‘I love
you’ under our breath to each person we saw before we said anything else to
them?” Simple. Unexplainable – as least
by today’s societal standards. We are
programmed to be skeptical, to be proper, to be vigilant and
self-protective. Being loving is
mysterious because we’re supposed to save that for people that do nice things
for us and don’t hurt other people.
Being so enamored by a four footed friend who’s always super excited to
see you when you come home from work, and missing that friend when you are
working long days is just a little too kooky for our ‘normal’ world. God’s love is hard to put faith in – it’s too
easy – too free – too invasive.
Maybe what’s so mysterious questioning ourselves about why
we love so deeply; and questioning God’s love.
Our faith teaches us to embrace mystery.
What’s clear and explainable is that loving deeply makes the whole world
a better place, by starting with the relationships that surround us every day. Maybe as we progress in this, feeling happy
and connected by watching others be happy won’t be so mysterious. Mutuality will become comfortable.
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